theatregirl7299 (theatregirl7299) wrote,

Fic: Just Another Casual Conversation

Title: Just Another Casual Conversation
Author: theatregirl7299
Fandom: White Collar
Characters/Pairings: Neal/Peter
Rating: NC-17
Word Count: 429
Spoilers: None
Beta Credit: elrhiarhodan
Warnings: None
Summary: Sometimes all you have to do is ask.

A/N: This is in response to elrhiarhodan’s prompt of “Well, what do you think of that?” for runthecon. I tag ultra_fic with the prompt “Satin and Lace.”

“Hey, Peter?”

“What, Neal?”

“I need your opinion on something.”


“Just come here.”

“Ok, I’m here. What do you want me to look at?”

“This. What do you think of it?"

“Oh my GOD! Neal, what the hell are you looking at?!”

“I think they call it The Gryphon.”

“Neal, that’s…that’s….”

“A dildo? Yes, Peter it is.”

“Oh my god…”

“Don’t worry, Peter, no one will know you’re looking at dildos.”

“Neal, you know the FBI monitors office computer usage.”

“Yeah, but Mozzie hacked in and tweaked some stuff. The FBI thinks I’m looking at The Weather Channel.”

“Great, sex toys AND felonies…”

“You know if you keep scrunching your face up like that, it’ll freeze that way.”


“Relax, Peter. It’s after office hours. No one will find out that you’re looking at sex toys.”

I’m not looking at sex toys. You’re looking at sex toys.”

“Semantics, Peter. Now should I go for the Firebird or Classic Black?”


“Yes, seriously. I think Classic Black. Oh, and definitely getting the Cum Tube.”

“Oh my god…”

“Now – size. How big would you say you are, Peter?”


“How big are you? I mean, I can guess about what-? Ten or twelve inches fully erect?”


“Breathe, Peter. You’re turning purple.”

“I am not going to discuss my penis size with you, Neal.”

“That’s too bad. I’ll go with twelve, so that’s the extra large.”

“You are actually ordering that?”

“Yes. Since you won’t have sex with me, I’ll have to make do with something else.”

“Wait, what?”

“Since. You. Won’t. Have. Sex. With. Me. I’ll - ”

“I got that. Why don’t you think I’ll have sex with you?”

“Because I’ve practically thrown myself at you for years and have gotten no response.”

“Maybe that’s because you haven’t asked.”


“Ask me, Neal.”

“Peter, will you have sex – mmmft!”

“Mmmmm…let’s go before I fuck you over your desk.”

“Yes, sir.”

“Sir… I like that. Remind me to tell you to use that when I have you handcuffed to the bed.”

“Oh god…”



“Yes, Neal?”

“Just so you know, I charged The Gryphon to your credit card.”

“Why am I not surprised…”


A/N – For those who are curious, this is what Neal was looking at. SOOO NSFW! You have been warned…

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