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14 February 2016 @ 08:35 am
Fic: Just Another Casual Conversation  
Title: Just Another Casual Conversation
Author: theatregirl7299
Fandom: White Collar
Characters/Pairings: Neal/Peter
Rating: NC-17
Word Count: 429
Spoilers: None
Beta Credit: elrhiarhodan
Warnings: None
Summary: Sometimes all you have to do is ask.

A/N: This is in response to elrhiarhodan’s prompt of “Well, what do you think of that?” for runthecon. I tag ultra_fic with the prompt “Satin and Lace.”



“Hey, Peter?”

“What, Neal?”

“I need your opinion on something.”

“What?”

“Just come here.”

“Ok, I’m here. What do you want me to look at?”

“This. What do you think of it?"

“Oh my GOD! Neal, what the hell are you looking at?!”

“I think they call it The Gryphon.”

“Neal, that’s…that’s….”

“A dildo? Yes, Peter it is.”

“Oh my god…”

“Don’t worry, Peter, no one will know you’re looking at dildos.”

“Neal, you know the FBI monitors office computer usage.”

“Yeah, but Mozzie hacked in and tweaked some stuff. The FBI thinks I’m looking at The Weather Channel.”

“Great, sex toys AND felonies…”

“You know if you keep scrunching your face up like that, it’ll freeze that way.”

“….”

“Relax, Peter. It’s after office hours. No one will find out that you’re looking at sex toys.”

I’m not looking at sex toys. You’re looking at sex toys.”

“Semantics, Peter. Now should I go for the Firebird or Classic Black?”

“Seriously?”

“Yes, seriously. I think Classic Black. Oh, and definitely getting the Cum Tube.”

“Oh my god…”

“Now – size. How big would you say you are, Peter?”

What?

“How big are you? I mean, I can guess about what-? Ten or twelve inches fully erect?”

“…”

“Breathe, Peter. You’re turning purple.”

“I am not going to discuss my penis size with you, Neal.”

“That’s too bad. I’ll go with twelve, so that’s the extra large.”

“You are actually ordering that?”

“Yes. Since you won’t have sex with me, I’ll have to make do with something else.”

“Wait, what?”

“Since. You. Won’t. Have. Sex. With. Me. I’ll - ”

“I got that. Why don’t you think I’ll have sex with you?”

“Because I’ve practically thrown myself at you for years and have gotten no response.”

“Maybe that’s because you haven’t asked.”

“What?”

“Ask me, Neal.”

“Peter, will you have sex – mmmft!”

“Mmmmm…let’s go before I fuck you over your desk.”

“Yes, sir.”

“Sir… I like that. Remind me to tell you to use that when I have you handcuffed to the bed.”

“Oh god…”

“Yeah.”

“Peter?”

“Yes, Neal?”

“Just so you know, I charged The Gryphon to your credit card.”

“Why am I not surprised…”

Fin

A/N – For those who are curious, this is what Neal was looking at. SOOO NSFW! You have been warned…
http://bad-dragon.com/products/gryphon

 
 
 
fireheart13: hand on bare backfireheart13 on February 14th, 2016 02:10 pm (UTC)
Haha! I love sassy Neal provoking Peter until Peter's toppy side asserts itself ;-)
theatregirl7299theatregirl7299 on May 16th, 2016 12:47 am (UTC)
LOL I know I'm late with comments but I'm glad you liked it.
kanarek13kanarek13 on February 14th, 2016 02:15 pm (UTC)
Heeeeeeeeeeeee, so much love for this, lol. Yeah, sometimes it takes special kind of communication to get the message across, LOL :D
theatregirl7299theatregirl7299 on May 16th, 2016 12:47 am (UTC)
So glad you liked it!
riverotter1951: Zen rocksriverotter1951 on February 14th, 2016 02:31 pm (UTC)
Excellent and amusing. Like Neal using Peter's credit card.
theatregirl7299theatregirl7299 on May 16th, 2016 12:47 am (UTC)
I know right? Only Neal would have the audacity to charge it to Peter.
sapphire2309: Neal 1sapphire2309 on February 14th, 2016 03:48 pm (UTC)
AHAHAHAHAHA, THAT IS HILARIOUS. LOVE.
theatregirl7299theatregirl7299 on May 16th, 2016 12:48 am (UTC)
So glad you liked it! I love writing just dialogue fics like this.
sinfulslasher: neal innocentsinfulslasher on February 14th, 2016 04:14 pm (UTC)
HAHAHAHAAA!!!

Go Neal!

I hope he gets his ass spanked for being such a naughty boy! *g*
theatregirl7299theatregirl7299 on May 16th, 2016 12:48 am (UTC)
For you - yes!
sinfulslasher: neal innocentsinfulslasher on May 16th, 2016 07:37 am (UTC)
\o/

*makes grabby hands for spanky kinky sequel*
elrhiarhodanelrhiarhodan on February 14th, 2016 04:27 pm (UTC)
Utterly hysterical. And so very, very Neal. Thank you for taking my prompt in this direction.
theatregirl7299theatregirl7299 on May 16th, 2016 12:48 am (UTC)
You are welcome! I was so much fun.
pooh_collectorpooh_collector on February 14th, 2016 04:40 pm (UTC)
Holy Moses. $65! I would have charged it to Peter's credit card too!

Utterly hysterical and definitely calls for an NSFW sequel featuring the Gryphon.
theatregirl7299theatregirl7299 on May 16th, 2016 12:49 am (UTC)
That sequel may be entirely possible... Glad you liked it.
daria234daria234 on February 14th, 2016 07:18 pm (UTC)
LOL this is great - love it!
theatregirl7299theatregirl7299 on May 16th, 2016 12:49 am (UTC)
Glad you liked it!
The Gauche in the Machine: WC Neal looks like Aiden Quinnchina_shop on February 14th, 2016 08:19 pm (UTC)
Bwahaha, hilarious! Neal is such trouble...
theatregirl7299theatregirl7299 on May 16th, 2016 12:50 am (UTC)
He totally is! And that website? It's all sorts of.... :)
sandy79sandy79 on February 14th, 2016 09:29 pm (UTC)
Oh boys! Love it!
theatregirl7299theatregirl7299 on May 16th, 2016 12:50 am (UTC)
Thank you
ladyrose42ladyrose42 on February 15th, 2016 02:08 am (UTC)
Interesting website
theatregirl7299theatregirl7299 on May 16th, 2016 12:50 am (UTC)
I know right? I plan on using it in some other fics down the road.
Typo Queenvexed_wench on February 15th, 2016 02:26 pm (UTC)
Neal is so cute and sneaky. Wonderful job.
theatregirl7299theatregirl7299 on May 16th, 2016 12:51 am (UTC)
Thank you
hurinhouse: pic#99366479hurinhouse on February 16th, 2016 07:46 pm (UTC)
Super adorable! The banter here is spot on them. Well done!
theatregirl7299theatregirl7299 on May 16th, 2016 12:51 am (UTC)
Thank you