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23 October 2012 @ 09:37 am
Staff Briefing (for Caffrey-Burke Day)  
Author: theatregirl7299
Characters/Pairings: Neal and Peter
Rating: PG
Word Count: 201
Original Publication Date: October 22, 2012
Content Notes: None
Summary: A typical meeting in the White Collar Division....

“Stop it!”

“Stop what?”

“Stop tossing the rubber band ball!”

“It helps me think.”

“It’s distracting.”

“To you.”

“To everyone.”

“Not everyone.”

“Yes, everyone.”

“I think we need to take a vote. Who thinks the rubber band ball is distracting?”

“We do NOT need to take a vote…”

“It’s only fair.”

“Can we please get back on task?”

“You know you’re really not being democratic about this.”

“Staff briefings are not supposed to be democratic.”

“Says you…”

“What was that?”


“As I was saying…”

“Which time?”

“What do you mean which time?”

“I mean about the case, the rubber band ball or your insistence upon censoring the democratic process that our country was founded on?”

“What?...Wait…No…I’m not censoring the democratic process – ”

“You denied us our right to assemble peacefully and hold a vote about the rubber band ball. I would call that censorship…”

“…I did not – ”

“…Of course….these meetings are really more like an Autocracy, except we do have some rules, which, by the way, tend to get in the way of things occasionally.”

“Oh my God…”

“No, that would be a theocracy and would be in direct violation of Church and State.”

“Stop it!”

“Stop what?”


elrhiarhodanelrhiarhodan on April 5th, 2015 03:26 pm (UTC)
I can't believe I missed commenting when you posted this. It's brilliant and hysterical and I can hear Peter and Neal having this exact conversation.

Thank you for posting it on Redux.
theatregirl7299theatregirl7299 on April 5th, 2015 11:15 pm (UTC)
You are welcome. This piece always makes me smile. Glad you liked it.